Am I a failure
if all I really wanted to do with my life
was be as happy and in love
as my parents
and I am neither happy,
nor in love?Is the reason
I say I no longer want kids
because I am afraid
that I will not be as good a mother as my own,
or is it simply
because I am too selfish?Will I love myself
more or less
if I do everything it takes
to be beautiful in this world–
even if being beautiful
doesn’t mean
being healthy?
if all I really wanted to do with my life
was be as happy and in love
as my parents
and I am neither happy,
nor in love?Is the reason
I say I no longer want kids
because I am afraid
that I will not be as good a mother as my own,
or is it simply
because I am too selfish?Will I love myself
more or less
if I do everything it takes
to be beautiful in this world–
even if being beautiful
doesn’t mean
being healthy?
Do I hold on so tightly
to my memories
because I let go of everything else
that reminds me of my past
even though I am not quite ready
to embrace my present
and step into my future.
