I am action wanting reaction
leaky fingertips craving attention
airing skeletons living amongst the dresses in my closet
still waiting for someone else’s love to validate me
I am becoming resentment dominating forgiveness
I have scars on my heart
to match self-inflicted scars on my legs
I want to tell my third
and ignore passive pride
to point fingers where blame is wanted
and clear the water under burning bridges
for the next time you watch me through the window
as I wait for the blow of betrayal’s hand against my face
I wish I could make you feel the sting that
after fucking your way out four years ago
still leaves on my cheek
Part of me aches to ask the questions
I never let my mind wonder
knowing I have no right
like if you really believe I stole him from you?
and if that is why I never really had him?
not yet ready to stop the play
though you share castles with our king
I want to believe in your peace talk
and agree that closure is a myth
for my smile is no longer bright or distracting
my vanilla kisses I keep to myself
realizing I am just one girl
in a dark and lonely world
who is too afraid
not to be lonely.
