Letter to my Unborn Child.

I saw you today…

blond curls bouncing as you played in the field
felt your weight displace in my arms
as I held you for the first time.
as I held you for the only time

Your eyes were his…
mirroring my reflection in them

I am so thankful
to have met you
my beautiful boy

I would have dressed you in pastels all the time

              taught you that different is glorious–
        be whatever you choose

                              taught you that grandpa will never let you down…

                     sang you songs in French

                                            and gorged you on fresh snap peas from the garden

I would have loved you

           more than I ever thought possible

                            given you every opportunity for greatness that I could

                  and always displayed your artwork with pride

I would have never missed a chance to watch you play soccer

            or dance

                or beat your father at chess…

I would have taught you the importance of doing for yourself

                      and made sure you knew you could always ask for help,

             would have read to you each night

                                           the many, many books Grandma would give to you

                        and we would laugh

                                        and play

                                             and be silly

                                                                         just because we could…

I would have built you a sand box in the garden

                              like my father built me

                  and a fort in the trees

                                        where imagination could change reality

                        and anything was possible
              would have kissed every skinned knee
                                wiped every tear
                                        and made sure you always wore your helmet–
                  your mind is too precious to risk.

I would have walked behind you in life

              catching you if you fell

                                      but letting you lead your own

My beautiful boy,

Oh how I would have loved you…