Posted in Starts, tagged Abortion, Hurt, insecurity, Starts on January 9, 2008 | No Comments »
What does it really matter if I smile all the time?
I feel insecurity bubbling in the silence.
I know better than to swim in her waters– not enough reward for the risk.
She closed her eyes hoping they wouldn’t open come morning…
The last bottle falied to numb anything… Gnarly Dudes might pack a punch strong enough to [...]
Posted in Poetry, tagged Abortion, Poetry on November 12, 2007 | No Comments »
I laid him to rest today.
Not knowing where to go from here…
Is it still ok to grieve?
Posted in Poetry, tagged Abortion, Poetry on November 11, 2007 | 2 Comments »
I saw you today…
blond curls bouncing as you played in the field
felt your weight displace in my arms
as I held you for the first time.
as I held you for the only time
Your eyes were his…
mirroring my reflection in them
I am so thankful
to have met you
my beautiful boy
I would have dressed you in pastels all the [...]
Posted in Starts, tagged Abortion, Faith, Starts on November 11, 2007 | No Comments »
A writer in poet’s skin doesn’t make her any less of a sheep…
Her heavy eyes guilted with the past.
The holy water didn’t burn as I had expected it to.
Marked by my palms and forehead, I wept…
I am to name him, but can’t take the name he was promised.
The skeptic in me will not triumph [...]
the blind man begged for healing
prayed for light to his darkness
believing stories told of His greatness
I sat in distrust
to what I was being taught
my ears fighting doubt
as it escapes from my own eyes
I had come to heal
though not ready to relinquish strength
to Him
which I don’t yet believe
skepticism and common sense
fight the naiveté of having faith
just [...]
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Abortion, Carl, Faith, Poetry on November 11, 2007 | No Comments »
I can’t believe I am back to this point. Three years have passed and I still feel that so much healing has yet to take place. I tell myself I don’t hate you, but I say that just to deny myself the hatred I want to use to replace the emptiness. I wonder if you [...]
Posted in Poetry, tagged Abortion, cutting, memories, Poetry, truth on November 7, 2007 | No Comments »
remnants–
tainted by hindsight
infected with rationalization
rotting in my memory
broken pieces of the puzzle
taped together
in no particular order
no more accurate
than eye witness testimony
anything that mattered
was thrown out
with the blood stained bathwater…
Posted in Poetry, Starts, tagged Abortion, Carl, Hurt, Poetry on November 7, 2007 | No Comments »
searching for some unknown aspect of self reflected in the other
answers to our questions of identity
individually alone, but together lonely
——————————————————-
Someday she’ll find you, like I found you
but you’ll be ready
and you will, at last,
have everything you ever dreamt of
all in your life without me…
———————————————–
November 4th, 12:05am
praying for time to pass
February, nine months earlier
fighting, you’re not [...]
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Abortion, insecurity, love, Questions on November 6, 2007 | No Comments »
If my fear of love will ever loosen its grip on me enough for me to break free of its suffocating hold?
Why I place responsibility of this very fear on someone or something other than myself rather than taking control and accepting that it is indeed my own hands that can’t let go of their [...]
Posted in Poetry, tagged Abortion, Poetry on October 26, 2007 | No Comments »
spread eagle in stirrups
like the tramp they saw her as
sexuality draining–
sucked dry through vacuum tubes
expunging mistakes
and could have beens
wishing the gas filling her lungs
killed more than pain…
murder and suicide
will go hand in hand
checking in
at the gates of hell
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