You can have all the time you need…

Your hurtful actions
may not solidify my waiting around
for you to stop seeing me 
through insecure eyes.
Project what you need on me
I won’t judge you for living. 
For ten years I have loved you. 
Made you my person above all other persons…
You made your point loud and clear.
Have tucked our friendship
into that ever familiar state of need to know.
There [...]

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It seems so petty…

this fight
this loss
this game refusing to be played
that leaves holes in our hearts
if not holes in our lives
there are others
filling gaps
spilling drinks
naming names
but today I am sad
to have lost you
though life has changed
those frizzy haired girls
camp counselors
with big smiles
to the women we no longer know
it maybe for the best
that our paths no longer cross
life is not incomplete
lonely
or lacking
but [...]

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She Almost Died Once

She almost died once.

Joked on the plane
            to the nervous man next to her…
“Don’t worry, I’ve already had my near death experience.”

I watched her laying there
        determined to wiggle her toes
   helped her shower
                           laughed with her
                                        “nothing over five pounds!”
             then flew halfway across the world
                                                      fleeing from my own insecurities
                            and left her…
                                                     alone.

It [...]

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Alone

So damned
determined
going through life alone in her eyes
with other’s love
drowning in her wake
blindly bruising hearts
passing through strangers
and over looking loved ones
keeping them in the dark
causing pain in her omissions
they try so hard to crack her shell
to inch their way in
seeping through broken skin
permeating her icy interior
behind glass eyes
and her distracting smile…

Your words broke me today
thank [...]

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Untitled

there is no hatred here
only hurt
my misconception of what was taking place
again in the dark
alone in my beliefs
wondering
but mostly knowing
that although I have been cut off
again
you still search me out…
it is unfair
yet just in your eyes
a blessing in disguise
that makes me so incredibly angry
don’t leave me a last note…
it takes away
from the sudden shut out
you [...]

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One Liners.

Can you really call it a friendship if it isn’t anything more than toleration?
Emptiness filled with random faces clutter her eyes.
No strategy to her approach, just blind eyes and flailing arms.
Her hands released the rope she held swinging into his life.
No ticking biological clock to keep me in rhythm with what I should be doing [...]

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The Kiss

You held me
my face in your hands
as you kissed my forehead
long and sweet.
Your way of letting me know
you were still there–
as you would always.
Eyes welling with tears
face flushed with emotion
I tried to hide
my quivering voice.
It had been so long
since feeling your touch
since feeling anything from you.
I had forgotten what it meant
to have someone care
to let [...]

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