Starts.

What does it really matter if I smile all the time?
I feel insecurity bubbling in the silence.
I know better than to swim in her waters– not enough reward for the risk.
She closed her eyes hoping they wouldn’t open come morning…
The last bottle falied to numb anything… Gnarly Dudes might pack a punch strong enough to [...]

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Judgment Day.

I fight nausea
like her bones fight
to stay within their skeletal cage
nothing but skin is left to hold them back
it is so wrong to want like this…
I hate you jealousy.

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I wonder…

If my fear of love will ever loosen its grip on me enough for me to break free of its suffocating hold?
Why I place responsibility of this very fear on someone or something other than myself rather than taking control and accepting that it is indeed my own hands that can’t let go of their [...]

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.

So uncomfortable her skin crawls
                       itching for another time and place
                                     insecurity bubbling beneath the surface
                pouring through her fingertips
                              false strength paints another layer
                      upon the mask she wears
                                           hiding her lying eyes

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Leaving Part 1

We were teenage girls
crowding shoulder to shoulder
spreading gossip and lip gloss
in the busy corridor between bellsI watched
from outside the circle
uninvolved in the banter between
and realized how little it mattered
my being thereas if fate
had written a resolution to my insecurity
I signed my name to the dotted line
desperate to rid myself
of the indifferent nature
sixteen had to offer
I [...]

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I Hate That Moment

I hate that moment
when envy consumes me
when I wish I was more…
or less…
When insecurity conquers
self-worth
and physicality becomes all I can see.

I hate than moment
when I don’t like myself–
when I feel inadequate
and awkward
and less than what she is
whoever she is
at the moment
where I am not good enough
through my own eyes.
That moment when I start to fall
and [...]

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Bits and Pieces

Confidence
She smiles at him
gives a look
that tells how lucky he is
to have caught her attention
she is beautiful
and will let no one tell her otherwise
her smile masks any and every insecurity
she has inside
fooling everyone–
even herself at times
with its strength and magnificence.
Dreams…Dreams
are like fairytales,
teaching
those who drift
in the dark
the lessons
they can’t seem to grasp
in the light of day.
Fear
I [...]

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Ugly

she catches her reflection
in the mirror
and feels ugly–
she succeeded
in her attempt to change her body
unlike girls around her
who starve themselves
wishing their thighs were smaller–
she wanted
to be less attractive
she wanted
the second glances
to stop
the comments
of how cute her shape was
to go away
she wanted
to blend in–
not be seen
watched
touched
she wanted
to forget
what it felt like
to have her skin caressed
she wanted
to [...]

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Please don’t touch me

Please don’t touch me–
Don’t take my words,
in ways they are not meant.
Don’t read in my smile
stories you tell yourself
of passions desired
when all it really is
is just a smile.
Don’t think that you are
what I have been looking for
or tell yourself
you have what I need
because you don’t.
Please don’t touch me–
Don’t put me in a situation
where I want [...]

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Thunderstorm

It crackles like a mid summer beach fire
sparks spitting from salty driftwood
without the sting of smoke
in the eyes of its beholders.
In its glory, thunder roars with intensity
against dirty single paned windows.
Whispers turn to howls
as wind creeps under the seal
tickling the sheer curtains
like serpents’ tongues.
Hail and raindrops the size of skipping stones
throwing themselves against the glass
like [...]

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